Friday, July 20, 2012

Batman, shooting, Colorado shooting, Joker, movie massacre

Today we heard about the shooting/murder of people in a crowded theater in Colorado.

This incident happened during a screening of Batman. People are questioning why this happened, and some "experts" have been quoted, to say violent movies can do this, there have been scientific studies that prove this.

 Another article I read was about what the NYC police commissioner stated. (in short) saying that the individual called himself the joker. And in the article further it "list of more possible parallels between the massacre in Aurora and the Batman comic book character". To me it is like putting the question why, and listed one explanation maybe because there was a scene "In Frank Miller’s 1980s comic book reboot, "Batman: The Dark Knight," the Joker kills an entire late-night TV audience with gas." or this, "A video game based on the Batman comic, "Arkham City," takes place in an abandoned movie theater, the same theater where Wayne’s parents were killed.

 read the article at

On the news i saw them saying when they called the mother of the gunman. Most parents usually say oh not my son/daughter. His mother right away acknowledged yes, her son, and (the way news put it like she knew her son can do this)

You'll be hearing reports coming out as fast as possible. People want to know immediately all the answers. And like so many things in the past, it takes time to find, and sort thru all the info.

Unless there is found to be there is mental illness, then my take on this is like so many other things, that the upbringing of this 24 year old man was not done right.
I chat with so many people. During our talks, we bring up how when we were young we would get a beating if we did something wrong, or did something bad. So we always questioned, what we did, if we knew it was bad, was it worth getting spanked. And 90% of the time is was not worth it so we did not do it. It was only very small things we would do, say come home a little late, but it had to be worth it, and we better have a very good excuse, and argument to keep our punishment to a minimum, and we still sweated it, would we be grounded for 1 year. And when we discuss these things, as grown ups, we say its a learning tool, and instead of getting a spanking, as grown ups you go to jail. Well, take away the learning tool while growing up, instead of punishment, nothing happens to you, there are some who start to believe, they can get away with things.

How I grew up, and the many people I know, they all would say, what they take from batman is the good guy wins, the bad guy looses. The bad guy looses a lot, and it doesn't pay to be the bad guy. So to take a batman movie to say it caused it, is false. I am glad that the news has pointed so much that it was not because of the movie, but because of the person. That the movie is like an excuse, and it could have happened to/at any movie.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Jealousy, Jealous people, People looking to use you

I was taught when I was growing up to say what you mean, and mean what you say. Also to tell the truth. When I grew up I realized this is not how the world works. We grow up being influenced by people around us who care and generally want us to succeed. They are our family members, close family friends, and close friends we make at a young age. This group of people show their happiness when we succeed. They congratulate us, they cheer us on. They support us, help us, and pick us up when we falter. As we grow up we start meeting more people. Unfortunately because we are taught at a young age by people around us who care, when someone cheers, or congratulates us, and so forth, we also believe the new people in our lives feel the same way, as if they cared about us. Hate to tell you the truth, many don't care what so ever. They are being "polite" or "nice". I categorize people in the following way; The real applause from people close to you who do care. The real applause from people who generally care. The fake applause from people who could care less. The fake applase from people looking to use you, or put you down. Lets start with "The real applause from people close to you who do care" Again these are the people who are close to you that I listed above. They want you to succeed. Ok, sometimes they go overboard, especially parents. They just want to see you succeed. You might be embarrassed at your young age. But when you grow up you'll learn how lucky you were to have your own cheering crowd. The real applause from people who generally care. These people even if they are not close to you, are caring people. They are happy to see anyone who succeeds. They themselves look forward to succeed. They are willing to help, just to be helpful, expecting nothing in return. They help others, as they have received help, or hope maybe one day when they need help, someone will be there to help them. They ask you questions how you succeeded so they can learn from you. The fake applause from people who could care less. These people are generally people who don't know you well, or don't care about you. They applaud to be polite, or nice, not to be seen as the bad person. Those in the office who cheer you on, when the whole office is basically told to cheer you on. The fake applase from people looking to use you, or put you down. These types are all around us. They are hard to see through. They act if they care, while waiting to back stab you at any moment. To your face they act is if they care. They will say anything and do anything to gain your trust. They will impersonate as if they are a person who does care, while only looking for the opportunity, to squash you to advance their own goal, or use to you advance their goal. Many times once you spot this type of person, just cut ties with them, and let everyone know. Reason to let everyone know, is by the time you realize the type of person this person is, they seem to others as a close friend of yours. That person will continue to try to use your other friends, their loyalty, because they still think you are friends/close with that person. No matter how bad you think it is to tell others you found out this person is bad. Its worse not to, in the end, it will be found out how this person is bad, and others will be mad/upset you did not tell them. Some of them are just jealous, and look to get close to you just to destroy you easily. Beware these people, and they imitate those who do care for you.


Never let anyone who comes into your life make you get rid of something you cherish. No matter how foolish it is. Or how much they dislike it. This item belongs to you, and means something special to you. Because it does not have the significant meaning to the person that enters your life as it does to you. They can not understand why you cherish the item. As in the movie Ted (which I found to be hilarious) the girl demanded the guy to get rid of something he cherished. I was in a relationship for over a year. In all honesty, the relationship should not have lasted that long. I really wanted to get married and have kids so I put up with to much. She wasn't the type to sit down to talk, which was weird. I had to be the one to sit her down to discuss things. Even then she wouldn't open up. So she started to pester me about getting rid of somethings in my place. (she did not sit down to say hey, lets talk about moving in together, how can we do this) I felt like she was trying to "run" my life. (if she sat down to talk with me, the issue would have been simple, we would have needed to get a bigger place) So instead of talking to me, she decided to do a few things on her own. I had to go into work one saturday morning for a couple hours. When I came home she had this smirk on her face. I knew right away she did something. She was acting funny. So I looked and saw she got rid of an item I had gotten when I was very young from a relative. Even though I had gotten rid of a bunch of things, (yes those items were junk that I got rid of, and I had thought about tossing them before) this one item I was going to keep. I told her the relevance about this item. She asked, and I said yes I will keep this item till I am dead. She knowing how much it meant to me, she still threw it out when I was not there. I told her get it or get out. She broke the item before throwing it out so there was no way of getting it back. I was not happy with her for some time. I let her know it to. Well finally, I woke up and got rid of her. To bad I waited to long, and lost something I did care for. My point is this, if you really treasure an item, make sure the person who comes into your life understands that. Also respects you not to bring it up again. If that person does bring it up, to get rid of that item. I suggest you reevaluate your relationship. Am I the first person this has happened to? NO! And I can tell you that every single relationship that I heard of where someone in the relationship does something like this. The relationship in the end, well ends sooner or later. Yes I have heard of relationship go on for sometime, deep down inside the person is not truely happy either. Remember for a person to do this to you, does not respect you, respect your wishes, and will not treat you with the respect you deserve!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Convict Love

This guy I know met this girl. I forgot where or how. But they became friendly. The guy I know lets call him Jake. So Jake starts liking this girl. But Jake learns she is in a relationship. The relationship is not so great. She is with this "looser", who doesn't like to work, likes the quick dollar. So Jake gives up, he really likes her though. One day, she calls Jake says hey whatcha doing? They start to talk, and they go out. Jake finds out she is no longer with her looser guy. (lets call her Beth). So Jake and Beth start hanging out. She told Jake she didn't want to rush into another relationship, and blah blah. She told Jake she didn't want to talk about her split up either. Jake being a nice guy left it alone. Beth being upset at her ex and all. Jake and Beth start getting serious. After couple months Beth (forgot what happened) was hurting for money. She couldn't afford her place. Jake had a very good job so he helped her out. Things were going good, So Jake and Beth talked, Beth moved in with Jake just to see where things go. Then Jake finds out (I think Beth told Jake) how and why Beth ended the relationship with her ex. It wasn't that they ended it because either one wanted to. Beth's looser ex got caught and went to trial and was convicted for burglary. Thats why Beth was behind on her bills and couldn't afford her place. Beth spent all the money for the looser's lawyer. Now Jake is a bit ticked. This is something she should have said to him long before he helped her out, and especially before they got involved. Beth knew Jake liked her a lot. (obvious she used him) Now Jake takes a moment. He is in shock. He is happy he is with her. But now he has a sort of trust issue with her. He understands she was embarrassed to tell anyone her ex is in jail. But Jake thought by the way Beth talked, that she finally woke up and dumped the looser. Jake talks to Beth. She swears up and down she is done with the looser. She is soooo happy with Jake. She never knew life could be so good. She loves Jake, and now she sees what a real relationship is like. She is done with the ex. She will never go back. Anyway he is in jail. Jake is like OK, but we are not gonna get married anytime soon. I really want to make sure things are right between us. 2 1/2 years pass. Jake sits Beth down. Wants to have a serious talk with Beth about their future. After all they have been together for 2 years. He wants to see how Beth feels deep down. His apartment was really for one person. Not meant for a couple. They have had some issues with room. Jake wanted to make sure with Beth things are good before moving ahead. She told him she loves him. He makes her so happy, blah, blah. So Jake asks her if she is really serious about being with him. She is so excited, says of course. So he tells her he wants to get a bigger place and all new furniture for the new place. After all his apartment was more of a bachelor place. He would have to sign a two year lease. She was all for it. She wanted to be with him. She loved him, and was soooo happy with him. Jake got the bigger place. Jake told Beth to pick out everything that would work also if they moved into a house in the future. He was taking things slow but he still planning for the future. They went and bought everything to fully furnish this two bedroom condo. Everything was bought new. Dishes, living room set, everything. He spent a lot of money for the items. He has a great job, he can afford it. Bought a lot of the items with no interest for one year. Easy for him to pay it off. Jake and Beth were happy. Nice place. They are always together, they would hang out with other couples all the time. Everything going great. Another year passes. Jake feels confident Beth loves him, that this is going to work. He feels his worries are over. It has been 3 years, and Beth is so happy. So he pops the question. She hesitates at first. She is surprised, did not see it coming, thinking Jake was taking time to make sure everything is perfect. She says yes. She is so happy. They start planning their wedding. Jake pays for everything. After another 6 months the wedding plans are getting set for the following year. Jake is happy, Beth is happy, all is well. Then Beth starts acting a little weird. Hey girls do that, they get nervous when the wedding thing finally sets in. Jake talks with friends, everyone says, oh she is just nervous. Beth is on the phone more and more. She ells Jake she had no idea it takes so much to plan a wedding. Now they are together for three and a half years. The phone rings and Jake picks it up its a collect call for the jail. Its Beth's ex calling. Jake hangs up, he is furious. Sits Beth down, starts to grill her about her ex, how long they talking, why, blah blah. Beth tells Jake, her ex just started to call. Her ex has no one else. He is going thru some things and just needed some one to talk to. Beth has know her ex since high school, and she felt bad her ex didn't have any one else to talk to. Beth assures Jake she loves him and wants to marry him, and for Jake not to worry. But Jake is not dumb. He keeps an eye on his phone bill and sure enough, Beth has been talking to her ex a ton. Beth tells Jake don't worry, I love you. My ex was calling because he is getting out, and has no one else to call. Beth told her ex she has moved on, but he keeps calling. She didn't want to tell Jake to ruin what she has. She loves Jake and wants to marry him, that's why she didn't say anything, she didn't want to worry Jake. She tells Jake she will cut it off talking to her ex. Couple weeks pass, Jake comes home early, Beth isn't home, the phone rings, its Beth's ex on the phone. Jake tells him not to call the number anymore. That this is his house (meaning Jake's house) and he doesn't want some ex boyfriend of Beth's calling. And there is a battle between the two guys over the phone, the ex saying ha ha you know she stills loves me you sucker, thanks for taking care of my girl while I was in jail, but you know she loves me and she will leave you to come back to me. Jake is like ha ha no she won't she loves me, we make love all the time, we are getting married. The ex is like, no your not, that will never happen. So Jake is not happy. He calls Beth, tells her what happened, and tells her they need to sit down later tonight, she agrees. So she gets down with doing what she had to get done. Comes home, sits down acting weird. Jake tells her, we been together over three and half years. They have a place together, bought everything new together, they have wedding plans. He wants her to stop talking to her ex. Beth tells Jake, I love you, you have treated me like a queen, I know I will have a wonderful life with you, you would do everything to make me happy. But I love my ex more. I did not realize it till he started to call asking my help to get him a small place, so he would have a place when he got out. I saw him, and i'm sorry but I love him, and am going back to him. She packed her stuff and left. Leaving Jake out with this expensive lease for another year, all this furniture and everything else he bought. I think he even bought her a nice car. And all the money he had to pay for the wedding which is non refundable. He was speechless to say the least. Took Jake some time to get over what happened. In the end he was at least happy it happened before he got married to her. Couple years later, while at work, Jake got a friend invite from Beth. He looked, she looked awful, run down, homely. Said she was single. He never replied back, didn't accept her as a friend

Sunday, July 15, 2012


Here it is. We all hear it some time, that someone we know, or it could happen to you. Your love one cheated on you.

Here is the truth. The facts come from study after study made by universities. I was shocked to hear the results. (And the %s listed below are close to a couple other studies done 5 years prior to this study. The percents may be off by 1 or 2%. i forgot the exact %)

Read the shocker, then I will explain more later below.

So all the times you hear women complaining guys are dogs, and they cheat. Here is the truth.

About 76% of women polled have said they cheated at least once in their life. This means they cheated when they were in a relationship. Being with a boyfriend, or married.!!!

Only 33% of men polled have said they cheated!!!!

Wow that really throws a wrench into all those women who complain about men are dogs and how they cheat. Women cheat more then double then men do. I couldn't believe what I heard.

Lets go further into the study----

Out of the 76% of woman who cheated. When they were asked why they cheated. Only 31% said because they were cheated on first. And only a very few percentage had 100% proof they were cheated on. Most the  women who cheated said they just were not happy with something in their relationship. Wow goes back to my other post of how women tend to move on fast.

Out of the 34% of the men who cheated, 78% said they cheated because they were cheated on first. And more of the men had proof the woman in their life cheated. The other percentage mainly cheated because there was something missing in the bedroom, in their relationship.

I was really shocked at this number.

The survey I am listing was done by a major university. The results were close to other studies from other universities. I never forgot this, because it was such a shocker to me. We hear so many times women complaining about guys who cheat. This is why it is a shocker. But is it really a shocker? Or is it that we just don't pay attention to it, I mean who wants to think about it. So I took a little time to read up on it. Even though I already knew the answers why. 

So here is answers to your questions.

Guys are not going to go out advertising their girl cheated on them for couple reasons. Guys don't want to come off as if they are lacking something. Or that they are weak. It is like an embarrassment to a guy their girl cheated on them. So you just don't hear guys cry about it. To a guy, to complain his girl cheated on him, its like he was with some ho. His friends will bring it up for years to come. So generally guys won't advertise it happened.

Women on the other hand, will "scream bloody murder". This is a rally call for her friends to come and support her. The amount of attention a girl gets if her man cheated on her is huge. She can use this even at work. Yes I have known women who have gotten a few days off because of this. (never heard a guy get a day off). So women will use this to their advantage.

BUT..ask yourself why or how did it come down to it. Well as I already stated women cheated because they just were not happy with "something" in their relationship. And it wasn't about sex. It was something in the relationship. Pretty dumb.
     While most guys cheated because they were cheated on first.

Bottom line, if your not happy in the relationship, there is no excuse, get out. Either put up with your relationship. Or get out of it, and then move on. Your not being fair to others. Your not being fair to the person you used to cheat with. 

Do you actually think, there is no repercussions when you cheat?

I have lived in Europe. I lived in several states in the US. I have met so many people because I moved. I have also worked in several bars and saw so many people cheat. 

When people cheat, you start making others not trust people. Most people lie to the person they cheat with, and the person they cheat on. So how are those 2 people going to be able to move on after the relationship and trust others? I know so many who do not trust the other gender for this reason. Also you start a cycle. You cheat on a person. Now that they were cheated on, they might cheat on someone they have a relationship with later on in their life, I have seen it done. They use the excuse, well I was cheated on, so I will cheat on someone else. How about the person you used to cheat with? You think that won't effect them? Of course it will. The thinking of well i was used by someone when they cheated in their relationship, so I will do the same. Again it goes back to how are people going to trust others if they were involved in this cheating circle? And it does happen. You would think, if someone was cheated on, or was used by someone who cheated. They would not cheat. Wrong, actually more people who were in this situation cheat.

Personal experience. 1 girl I dated was married she lied she wasn't. She thru out her husband for awhile, and hide his things. So no sign she was married. She said she was separated. She was not.
1 girl was engaged, her man was away for work. She lived in her own place.
1 girl lied for months she was not married. She just moved into the new house. She said she was separated and was still moving in. So she did not unpack everything. 

I have seen when i worked in bars, more women cheat, then men. 

I have talked to a many friends while I grew up. Many of them who were single into their 30s had at least one girl cheat on them. Most of them admitted because of this, they did not treat women on pedestal afterwords. They did not trust women. 

While very few women ever said their man cheated on them.

And 1/2 the women who did say their man cheated on them, actually it was not the truth at all. 

So there are the facts. So please be aware of the truth. Just because more women scream they were cheated on, does not mean more men cheat. Only means that women will admit to it more. And women talk about it more. Guys only admit to these things to close friends. Guys do not talk about it much.


Oh boy, War of The Roses mean anything to you?

Well if not go watch the movie "War Of The Roses"

In the the War between the Ex's it can become better then anything a soap opera can think up!

Lets make a list of how down and dirty this war can get LOL

10. Tell everyone your ex farts a lot in their sleep. Or your ex picks their nose. :)

9. Tell everyone your ex is a liar. That is why you broke up with them.(people will tend not to trust them)

8. Spread the word that your ex was not good in bed. (this is low down. Maybe should be higher on the list)

7. Let word spread to get to your ex that you found a new someone (the ex is going to feel sad)

6B. Bring a new so&so to the  local hang out where you know your ex will be. (oohhh that will hurt).
6A. Make out with your new so&so in front of the ex at the local hang out
             (ouch, your ex will fell that knife in the stomach)

5. Tell everyone your ex is a cheat.

4. Hook up with your's ex's friend. (Oh yea that one is bad)

3. Hook up with your ex's cousin (holidays will never be the same)

2. Payback--hook up and sleep with your ex's best friend. :O (let the fight begin)
                    (usually happens after the other had slept with a friend)

1. OH No ---Hook up and sleep with your ex's brother/sister (home wrecker LOL)

So have I ever seen these things? OHHHH yea!!! Showing off the new so&so is the talk between your ex and your ex's friends. Your ex and ex's friends will try to belittle your new so&so and it won't work. Making out in front of your ex, will send a gut wrenching feeling deep down into the pit of your ex's stomach. Your ex will feel the pain for days!

Hooking up with the ex's friend has been done by both sides. Yea the friendship usually ends not good. This i have seen several times. Many of a fight has become from this.

Hooking up with the ex's best friend has been done more by women then men. But I am not saying both sides have not tried. It is just easier for a woman to get a man to sleep with them, then the other way around.

The #1 sleeping with the other's brother/ is rare. That does not mean it does not happen, but it is rare. The family is never the same. Your ex will be furious for the rest of their life!

My point for this list. Is to say both genders have done it. Some things on this list one gender may have done it more then the other gender. But both are equally guilty of doing mean things to their ex. At the moment of being mad, both genders should stop. Many regret later on what they have done when it happens to them. Listen you broke up with your ex. Just move on, and leave your ex where they belong, in the past!!

After a break up. What Men Do/ Women Do

Guys get drunk!
    Yup that is what they do. And keep thinking about the girl they just broke up with. And the women know this!
    Guys go get drunk to drown their sorrows. 
    Which is not the best idea. As guys get drunk, they tend to do stupid things. I mean some of the most dumbest ideas that I have seen, come from drunk sad guys . Yup the list of stupid things that guys do when they get drunk after a break up is long. 
     And yes its great fodder for their friends to use to pick on them. The drunk dial late night to the girl they broke up with, crying how much they love them. (the woman has you right where they want you, begging!!) Might be cute, maybe not, but usually the woman isn't that happy about it, and #1 answer you'll get is something like, why does it take you to get drunk after we break up for you to realize this. Of course they got you right where they want you, so they can say and do anything to you. 
     Be a man, and just DON"T do anything when your sad and drunk except go home and sleep it off. AND think things out with a clear head. 
     I mean, going to her house to sing her a song, while she is sleeping, and your singing voice, well just don't give up your day job, and its late, the cops will be there soon, the neighbors aren't to happy about your drunk dumb idea of singing at 3am. So now the cops come, and your busted for a DWI. See dumb idea.
     Lets not forget the drunk sad then turns into drunk angry guy. these guys get into bar fights. Go beat on things. Drive their car/truck into things (get busted for a DWI) Go pound on the girls door at 3am (cops come, get arrested, get a DWI) 
    Go break a flower shop window to get flowers to bring to her at 3am (oh yea super dumb idea)
  Stop thinking like its a movie, it might work some times, but be smart, not drunk, do it when your sober. If you suppose to be together, it will happen. You broke up for a reason. Booze won't fix it.

Women get drunk to! Well some of them. Many of them cry themselves to sleep for a couple nights then move on.. But women have their support team!! They have their friends around them, to talk them into moving on. Go out. Here is their chance to explore.
  Yup before you know it, girls are out on the prowl. They might think about the last guy, they might miss him for a short time. But women move on. They move on fast!

    Most guys I have known go get drunk, and dwell on their break up. They might pick up a chick (rebound) for a one night stand. Maybe for a couple dates. But generally guys don't move on fast.

   Women on the other hand do move on. They move on fast! Even when if you do talk to her a couple weeks later, and she complains you didn't call her. She has moved on. Many girls will even say you didn't call so I moved on.  Women have their support team and they help her move on. 
     Most women I have talked to have admitted actually to start looking for their new guy after a few small bumps in the road. And if there has been 2-3 small little break ups (i mean like 1-3 days of not talking) they already out making guy friends. So guys watch out, she is looking to replace you!!! 

  I asked one girl (after seeing this a few times) why are you dating a new guy so fast when you said you loved your last guy so much? Did you really love him or what. The answer is the new guy is a rebound. He is just someone there to help her forget about the guy she did love and broke up with. How many times you see a woman date some guy, and you say wow she could do better, well there is a good chance he might just be a rebound. 

After couple dates, I don't feel she is interested

So I started to date this girl many years ago. We went out on our 3rd date. We talked on the phone a lot. But she seemed cold. Almost as if she was not interested. She did not kiss me, or hug me in that long embrace like a girlfriend would. So there was a couple weeks I did not see her. Finally I decided to have one last date with her. During the date I turned to her and said we needed to talk. I told her how I did not get a feeling from her  that she is interested in me. I wanted to know what she was feeling, and what she wanted from this relationship. She admitted she was keeping a distance and wanted to get to know me better before jumping into a relationship with me. That is why she kept it casual. So it was good that I spoke up, and asked. Without asking I would not have found out.
We started to date more serious, and our relationship became serious.

The Truth--so after 2-3 months of our relationship becoming serious, she finally came clean and told me she was in a relationship and that's why she was "cold" to me when we first started going on casual dates. Basically she wanted to see if I worth leaving the relationship she was having to be in a relationship with me. And yes I did ask her when I met her if she was dating some one, she said no.


Hi, this is Day1. I will be writing about what I have learned in life. Most of us are told the rules of life. Do that, Don't do that. But no one sits down and explains why. Or gives clear cut examples of what happens. Most of us know the rules. We just are not always told the reason behind the rule. And more over are not told any examples. I feel, most are embarrassed to say what happened to them. But I will dish it all out on this blog. Every nitty gritty, dirty little secret. Every detail. So anyone who really wants to know why can!!